A Roadblock

First… a story.

One of the goals I listed at the beginning of the year was that I wanted to move into a new apartment. Currently, I live with my boyfriend and his brother, and I would really like to get a place with just my boyfriend. This was an idea we threw around for months before he agreed that we could move this summer… after I had saved up a bit more money. A month ago we decided that late April or early May would work, he just needed to talk to his brother (who I don’t get along with very well), so that his brother could start thinking and have a plan of his own for when we move out.

Josh (my boyfriend) is very concerned that his brother won’t think of plan and will get screwed when we leave.  I thought the obvious answer was that we could help him talk to people and figure out what he was going to do, and I was under the impression that Josh was doing just that. Until tonight. I asked him what his brother’s plan was, and if there was anything I could do to help. As it turns out he hasn’t even talked to him about us leaving yet.

It is so incredibly frustrating to think that you have a handle on things, and that as long as you take the right steps you can reach your goal, and then find out you haven’t moved an inch.

What do you do when you’re ready and working on something, but someone else is not?

Was he avoiding asking because he’s not really on the same page as me? Did he not talk to his brother because secretly he’s not ready to be on his own with me? What is it that he was afraid of, and what can I do to help?

The Power of Volunteering

Everyone knows that volunteering is a good thing. It helps out people in need and it makes you feel good inside. I’ve started to look at convention and meeting planning as a possible career path for myself, but I’m having trouble getting started and finding out how to get experience.

Duh, volunteering!  No matter what your plan is in life, I bet you anything you can find a place to volunteer that would be on your path and look very good on a resume.

How to get started:

• Look for non-profits in your area.  Most have websites that list contact information.  Shoot them an email describing exactly what you want to do, and how you can help them.
• Check your local papers and check community events coming up. If there’s anything you think you would want to be a part of, go to it.  At the end when whoever is in charge is less busy, approach them and tell them you want to help out with the next one.  Make sure to give them your card and get contact information from them.
• Still in school? Join a club! Any extracurricular activity looks great, and with the support of your high school or college you can do a lot.
• Look online. If you live in a bigger city it’s probably listed under one of these sites;

- http://www.volunteermatch.org/

- http://www.serve.gov/

- http://www.volunteer.gov/gov/

• There are also animal shelters, retirement communities, food banks, and homeless shelters that are always looking for help.
• Don’t forget to follow-up. If no one emails you back right away, try again! Make an impression.

Resolutions Already Fizzle?

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So many people don’t like making new years resolutions because it seems like hardly anyone follows through on them.  I say that it wouldn’t be that way if we got back on the horse when we start to fall behind.  I’m sure I’m not the only person who stops working hard on their plans for this new year after the first few days you don’t drink enough water, you skip the gym for a week, have one more last cigarette, or your new organization system goes to shit.

Why do we quit?  We could quit because our dreams are much harder to meet than we thought.  There could be something that sets us back, like not getting that internship you worked for, or a death of a loved one.  I quit because I doubt myself.

The number one reason why we don’t meet our dreams is because: once we take a break, and something doesn’t go as planned, we don’t know how to start back up again.

It’s easier on New Years. That whole “new year, new you” sounds amazing, and you never hear anyone say “one o’clock, new me”.  People like starting points. We always pick the new year to change ourselves, or our birthdays.  That is putting too much pressure on ourselves to become new people, which makes it all the more disappointing when what we dream of doesn’t happen right away.

Start new anyway. If you feel better with a plan you can always make it the beginning the next week, or if it’s the end of the month, make it next month.  I would suggest anyone wanting to get back on the horse should make it tomorrow. The longer we wait, the harder it is to get back on track.

Find your fire.  To help scale back the number of misadventures we have, everyone should have a form of motivation.  Luckily for us, we have the internet, so even if you can’t think of anything to keep you motivated, you can hop on your favorite search engine and look something up.

Here are some methods I use. Changing my password on my computer. I read in January’s Cosmo a few tips on the subject, and my favorite was changing your computer password.  You type it in everyday so it’s a good way to keep drilling your goal into your head.  Pick ’8cupsofwater’, ‘lose20lbs’, or ‘smokingkills’.

You could even make like my two favorite broke girls and create a vision board.

Or, if you have steps you want to take to meet your resolution, I recommend making a goal binder, like I outlined in another blog. ( http://torilynn42.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/introducing-the-goal-binder-everyone-cheers/ )

Just do it! No one is going to hand you everything you’ve ever wanted. The only way to do things is to actually do them.  We’re wonderful people, and we can do anything we put our minds to.

Introducing…. THE GOAL BINDER… *everyone cheers*

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How do people meet their goals?  Achievements can’t just happen.  You have to have a plan. That’s why I bring to you… my goal binder!!!!

A goal binder is this brilliant thing I have that keeps track of all my goals, and how I plan to meet them.  For example…

One page is one of my short-term goals; to clean my room.

My goal: Clean my Bedroom

Friday January 6th

• Bring out all the dishes
• Move all the dirty laundry off the floor and put into the hamper

Saturday January 7th

• Clear off the tops of all tables, dressers, and the windowsill

Sunday January 8th

• Pick up all trash from off the floor

Monday January 9th

• Finish cleaning off the floor

Tuesday January 10th

• Vacuum
• Dust

Now all these things could probably be done in one day, but when I map it out like this it seems less like a huge project, and I don’t have to spend too much time in one day working on it.  I can spend the rest of my day working, or doing whatever else needs being done, but by the end of Tuesday I’ll have a nice clean room.

This is the same kind of setup I want to do for all my other goals, no matter how big or small.  I’m going to start with my career path.  I’ll make a goal sheet in my binder for finding out what I want to do, and set my goal path from there. I’m very excited at the prospect of creating this forward momentum in my life now.

I’m curious about how everyone else plans out their goals.  Do you just wing it? Or do you have a binder too? Post a comment on ways to improve my planning, or tips on how to keep from getting discouraged.

New Years Bug

I had one of those “this is the first day of the rest of my life” moments.

I could not get to sleep last night.  My boyfriend was sick, so he was tossing and turning.  I was feeling pretty defeated because my attempt at exercising left me with very sore legs, and I couldn’t beat my computer at chess, even with it set to beginner.  Every time I closed my laptop to give myself a chess break, my mind went a hundred miles an hour thinking about where I am in my life.

I’ve been in a happy relationship for over two years, who I’ve been living with for over a year.  I got a new job, which is going to help me straighten out financially.  I have little to no idea what I want to do to make a living in the future.  I just feel ready for that next step in my life.  Everyone always thinks of bettering themselves but no one actually does it.

My list-orientented mind is craving a check list of everything I want to accomplish in 2012…

• I want to get my license.
• I want to figure out where I want to go with my life.
• I want to move out of the apartment I’m in.

I set up this blog last night because i knew I wanted to document something.  I just wasn’t sure what.  Becoming a better person seems kind of vague as far as goals go, but I plan on making a plan for everything I want to accomplish, and share my plan here. Hopefully writing about it will help me be less likely to withdraw.