Time vs Beauty

What should be written on every woman’s mirror

I attempted to curl my hair today.  In the past I have used curling irons, and other times I’ve rolled my hair in rollers before bed.  Last night I tried both.  After my shower I took the time to put all of my hair up in rollers before sleeping.  That took a total of 45 minutes.  Granted I am not experienced, so it took me a bit longer, but I still feel like it was a time-suck and I could have spent it reading my book before bed.  I really thought it was going to be worth it when morning came.  After I started to take out my rollers this morning, I used a curling iron to just add touches to my ridiculously springy curls.  That took me a half an hour.  Half the curls did not hold (all were in the back so I looked like I was rocking a mullet).  The other half was frizzy and awful.  I tried to pin it back, or throw it in a ponytail.  Neither would hold my new afro.  I almost stuck with pigtails, but I looked far too much like a cocker spaniel.  It took me another 20 minutes to tuck all my little pieces into a bun, and pin back all the bits of shorter pieces in the front.  Over-all I spent close to two hours trying to do my hair, and I had not even looked at my makeup yet.

I go to a class every Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  Almost all the other women (and some men) in my class are always beautiful and put together.  I got to thinking, how long do they spend each day doing their hair, putting on makeup, picking out the perfect outfit, and perfecting the “I’m sweet, but I still come off as confident and slightly intimidating” look.

The end result

I weigh about 165-170lbs.  I hold my weight well, and I seem proportionate.  This time last year I was only a few pounds off from being 200 and you could never have been able to tell.  I’m definitely not skinny, and If I try to run you can tell I’m not in shape, but overall I’m pretty happy with my body, and I know my boyfriend is too.  My skin is not flawless, I have larger pores around my nose, and I break out a little when I have my period.  I have large, gorgeous blue eyes, and I hardly ever wear mascara on them.  When I do, I feel like a goddess and that I can take on anything life throws at me.  Unless it makes me cry, then I’m screwed.

Makeup free and I still love myself

I like how I look, and I wonder how much better I could look if I dolled myself up like the girls I see.  When I attempt I turn out more like a clown and have to wash it all off

anyway. But if it takes me two hours to do next to nothing, how long do the pretty girls in class spend to come out the way they do?  I wonder if I could have that time to read or take up something good for me, like yoga, or (god forbid) I could exercise a little.

Going New Places

I have always wanted to travel. I want to meet different types of people and learn about other cultures. It is very important in life to experience something different from what you are used to.

My goal for this winter was to go on some sort of trip every month my summer job was closed. As of today, I have planned every month.

Nosferatu (1922) (Photo credit: twm1340)

October:

On the 20th I am going to Salem Massachusetts. I have never been there before, but I expect it to be very interesting so late in the month. I will be visiting Count Orlok’s Nightmare Gallery, Witches Cottage Candlelit Walking Tour, and going to the Witches Cottage Haunted Show.

November:

On the 3rd I will be taking a bus to NYC and visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I have never been here either. Last time I was in the city I was with my mother, brother, and boyfriend seeing The Rockettes at Radio City Music Hall. As much as I love my family, I am looking forward to visiting without them.

December:

On the 8th I am Returning to NYC with Josh to see the Rockettes again. Seeing them last year was one of the most amazing things I’ve experienced. I had never been to a show so big, watching people so incredibly talented, and It made me feel like the world was such a wonderful place. I feel so lucky I get to return again this year and see it all over again.

January:

I am braving the cold and going to Quebec on the 19-20th. I would be seeing the Ice Hotel, The Chateau Frontenac, and dog sledding.

February:

The most exciting trip is in February. Josh and I saved up to be able to go on our very first cruise. From the 10th to the 17th we’ll be on a Royal Caribbean ship swimming with dolphins and para-sailing.

English: A beach on Coco Cay, an island leased by Royal Caribbean International, in the Bahamas. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I strongly urge anyone reading, who is a student, to take full advantage of any trips that school offers. Other than the cruise, all the trips are through my college, and were surprisingly cheap. There is too much out there to just sit around home thinking about it all the time. If you ever get the chance to go somewhere new, or meet someone interesting take it.

If it can go wrong…

I worked a minimum of 50 hours a week since April first.  I’ve finally gone back to school after over a year off.  I’ve gotten my life a little more figured out and my life seems more on track.  I worked very hard on my own well-being and making sure that my relationship with Josh stayed strong through trying times.  I wanted desperately to reward myself and do something I’ve always wanted to do.  I decided to throw a party.

Here is how I imagined the night going…

People would arrive and there would be an Indiana Jones poster on my door with a sign saying “now playing” above it.

They would walk in and the living room would be completely cleared out. You could not see the kitchen because a red curtain would be covering the doorway, and there would be a table by the wall that had a concession stand sign above it.

On the snack table I would have paper plates, napkins, pizzas, popcorn (everyone would get their own plastic bucket that said popcorn on it), all the normal movie theater candies, sodas, plastic tumblers (that everyone also got to keep), soft pretzels, and nacho cheese.

I would have made film out of aluminum foil and black construction paper and lined the walls with it.

In the back of the room I would have a projector set up, and speakers that would give everyone the ultimate movie viewing experience.

The movie would be amazing, and all the guests would be lying or sitting on the ground with pillows and cushions.  On their way out the door they would all get their very own Indiana Jones whip.

I invited just shy of 20 people, and it was going to be a wonderful time.

 

Here’s what is actually happening:

Four people are attending. My sister, her husband, one of Josh’s friends, and only one of my friends.

The projector cost more than expected, but at least it arrived on time.

I have no decorations, including signs and posters.  I bought an abundance more whips than people who will be coming, so that was a waste of money.

And oh yeah… we can’t clear out the living room.

What is the point of a projector if we won’t be lying on the floor? Why did I spend so much money on what was supposed to be such an exciting party if no one is coming and we’re just going to be sitting around in our plain old living room?

It is the night before the party, my boyfriend is asleep, we never got around to dusting the living room because it took so long just to pick everything up, and I’m crying because we have nowhere to put any of the furniture and Josh doesn’t even see the point of moving all the furniture out anyway.

It would have all made sense, and been a great time if we had 5 times as many people coming, but we aren’t.  The way I see it, this was a complete waste of money, time, and happiness.

A Roadblock

First… a story.

One of the goals I listed at the beginning of the year was that I wanted to move into a new apartment. Currently, I live with my boyfriend and his brother, and I would really like to get a place with just my boyfriend. This was an idea we threw around for months before he agreed that we could move this summer… after I had saved up a bit more money. A month ago we decided that late April or early May would work, he just needed to talk to his brother (who I don’t get along with very well), so that his brother could start thinking and have a plan of his own for when we move out.

Josh (my boyfriend) is very concerned that his brother won’t think of plan and will get screwed when we leave.  I thought the obvious answer was that we could help him talk to people and figure out what he was going to do, and I was under the impression that Josh was doing just that. Until tonight. I asked him what his brother’s plan was, and if there was anything I could do to help. As it turns out he hasn’t even talked to him about us leaving yet.

It is so incredibly frustrating to think that you have a handle on things, and that as long as you take the right steps you can reach your goal, and then find out you haven’t moved an inch.

What do you do when you’re ready and working on something, but someone else is not?

Was he avoiding asking because he’s not really on the same page as me? Did he not talk to his brother because secretly he’s not ready to be on his own with me? What is it that he was afraid of, and what can I do to help?